Renee Zellweger's career arc is definitely on the downswing. Remember when she used to not suck? She was in Empire Records, for chrissake, which until the age of 14 was my holy bible of how to dress/talk/act/sound cool. Sure, she played the blonde slutty one, and Liv was way hotter (especially in that cropped sweater/plaid miniskirt/combat boots ensemble. God, how I envied her!) but at least she was healthy looking. And young. She was even pretty un-annoying in Jerry Maguire, or at least her annoyingness paled in comparison to her heterosexually-challenged co-star. But then there was Bridget Jones, a "fat" role which she so selflessly gained like, 40 pounds for. I fear this movie was her undoing. Perhaps after staring at herself on camera day after day, she got it into her head that it would be better to exercise compulsively, lose about 50 pounds, and avoid the sun like a vampire. Thus, we have her in her present, and I daresay, permanent condition:
She's become this sort of sour-faced, anorexic, short-haired, lady-who-lunches and gives-dirty-looks-to-"the help" type. It is a rather unfortunate incantation. Why must her face be so puckered? Is she always sucking on a lemon? Is she so disgusted with Hollywood and fame that it leaves a sour taste in her mouth? What Renee, pray tell, would it take for you to relax your damn face, stop exercising quite so much, get out in the sun a bit more, and--dare I say it--wear something
other than a Carolina Herrera strapless number. Please, throw me a bone here.
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