Um, has anyone actually paid attention to how creepy Criss Angel is? I have no idea if the Cam/Criss thing really happened or not, but, assuming it did (because it would be more fun that way) Cam, sweetheart, what the fuck were you thinking? I mean have you really looked at this guy, like, in the face?
Shocking isn't it? And by shocking, I mean it's shocking that he isn't tackled by a team of plainclothes policemen doing a raid on cheesy, shaven-chested, black toenail-polish-wearing douchebags every time he leaves his house. I mean, my God. Just look at him:
What the fuck is he trying to do? If he's trying to be sexy, it's not working because looking at his picture makes me feel like sewing my vagina shut. The only type of person that would find this look attractive would be someone who shops at Hot Topic and listens to Slipknot...in other words, weirdo losers. And, last time I checked CAM, you are not a weirdo loser and you DEFINITELY do not shop at Hot Topic. So, you see, it doesn't add up--
And um, excuse me, Criss, is that a THONG I see peeking out in the lower left hand corner of the picture? A THONG Criss? Was it really necessary? Was it like, at the photo shoot the photographer went, "hell, Criss, you look really really hot right now, but I can't help thinking that something's missing. No, no, don't get me wrong, the muscles are looking great, they just need a little something extra...I know, will you put on this thong for me? Oh yes! Yes! Thats brilliant!"
The black toenail polish...the vain preoccupation with an ab machine...The eyeliner....Oh God, it's enough to make me want to throw up in my mouth. And just in case you weren't already 100% convinced that Criss Angel is a fucking weirdo creep, get a load of this:
Criss Angel is the only guy in LA sleazy enough to make Paris Hilton look like an innocent victim of unwanted sexual advances...And I've heard she fucks monkeys, so that lets you know how creepy Criss Angel is.
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