Wonk Eye pt. 5 million

Candy Spelling has some serious wonk-eye. I think her lower eyelid might be paralyzed after too many monkey collagen injections. Paris Hilton, welcome to your life in 20 years...

Gangee: Wonk Eye pt. 3

Sweet holy fuck, what the fuck happened to Lucille Bluth's face? She's got a case of full-on wonk eye! OMG, does that mean we're down to a 3-way wonk-off between Paris Hilton, George Clooney's whore, and Lucille Bluth? And no, I don't care what the actress' real name is. She'll always be Gangee to me.

ps: Lucille is totally going to be in the 90210 remake--appropriately as someone's alcoholic mother. I am so there.

Wonk-Eye Part 2?

This Sarah Larson bitch is everywhere. She's Clooney's latest gay-cover and he's parading her around every red carpet event in Hollywood like he wants to say, "Look at me!! Look at me with this hot piece! I like boobs!"

However, there are a number of reasons why I believe this relationship is a hoax. First, George Clooney is gay. Second, he always talks about how "smart" she is and how he loves her for her sense of humor, but dumb Vegas party sluts aren't usually very smart, and their sense of humor normally revolves around taking off all their clothes and making out with other girls. Something tells me Georgie would not find that very funny.

Oh, and she also has a wonk-eye. Uh oh, Paris is going to be jealous!! She thinks she's the only wonk-eye in Hollywood. They need to have a wonk-fight. On the edge of a cliff. With man-eating sharks down below.

On an unrelated note, I want this bitch's dress.

Paris Hilton: wonk-eye

Here is Paris looking like the epitome of understated elegance to the premiere of her new film, The Hottie and the Nottie. Ironically, Paris plays the hottie.

I once read somewhere that her lazy eye is caused by wearing those fake-ass blue contacts all the time. Because apparently NOT having cerulean, barbie-colored eyes destroys her well-manicured image as a walking sex doll. At any rate, it seems to be getting worse. Before long she'll be perpetually winking at us.