Britney Spears' VMA performance was every bit as horrific as I knew it would be. She might as well have gone on stage in a bathrobe, eaten a bag of cheetos, belched loudly into the microphone, and then rolled over on her back to show us her ladybits. Jesus God, how much more of this drivel will we be subjected to?
Apparently (big surprise) the sucky performance wasn't Britney's fault! She was actually enraged by comments comedian Sarah Silverman made about her children in rehearsal. The monologue was supposed to be cut from the actual show, but Sarah ended up saying it anyway: “Have you seen Britney’s kids? Oh my god, they are the most adorable mistakes you will ever see! They are as cute as the hairless vagina they came out of.”
Okay, big deal. Your kids were a mistake. We wouldn't know your vagina was hairless (and believe me, we'd rather not) if you'd just wear a pair of fucking panties once in awhile. Since when did stating the obvious become an excuse for flopping around on stage like a beluga whale on tranquilizers? I mean, my God, you were scaring people! Did you see 50 Cent in the front row? The guy's been shot like, 15 times, and even he looked like he was being forced to watch the execution of a kitten. The whole thing felt like Britney giving America the finger. And for what? All we did was turn her into a sex symbol at the age of 15, skyrocket her to fame and wealth, and then ruin her life by ridiculing every mistake she ever made. I fail to see why she would want to punish us so severely...
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