Ugh, who started all those dumb rumors that John Mayer is God's fucking gift? He looks like he reeks of douche juice: that's a mixture of Axe body spray, B.O., and Nag Champa. Not sexy. I can't figure out why Jenny is following him around like a dickmatized cat in heat. Besides, I bet her hooha is dried up like a chapped foreskin. There is no way Johnny's magic stick can fix that problem.
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