The Degrassi kids are all growed up...it seems like just yesterday Manny was marching around the hallways with her thong halfway up her ass, Emma was contracting venereal diseases, and J.T. (RIP) was selling prescription drugs to make rent money. Tonight's episode was as badass as I knew it would be...a two-parter that ends with Paige (now at Banting. I guess it's like the Harvard of Canada) crumbling under the pressures of Marketing 101 and (in a tense, dramatic scene) throwing all her books in a trashcan and setting them on fire (ahh...so that's why they don't allow candles in dorm rooms...) What comes next is anybody's guess. I've got my money on a complete and total mental breakdown where she goes lesbian again and quits school to become a full-time drug addict and prostitute. Ah, Paige Michaelchuck....what will you do next? Imagine your poor parents, having to cope with a gay son AND a gay daughter all at once. Do I smell suicide attempt? Homicide? God, it could be anything...that's the innate brilliance, you see?
And Marco and Paige's brother, shacking up together and playing "roommate" for their parents during Thanksgiving dinner?! I mean, my God, how rife with symbolism! I wonder what Ellie is up to...I wish they'd focused more on her than that Christian holier-than-thou bitch Darcy and her stupid love interest Peter with his faggy Saab convertible mommy and daddy bought him (the very car he used to get street cred last season by entering it in drag races...) Ugh.
Anyway, you see how carried away I tend to get with this stuff. Sometimes I ask myself if there was life before Degrassi, and I must concede that no, there most certainly wasn't. At least, not life as I have come to know and love it.
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