Apparently Northeast India has a problem with elephants breaking into local farms and imbibing large amounts of the farmers' homemade rice beer. Then they go on drunken rampages that usually end in human and pachyderm fatalities. Authorities are hopeful that a 'celebrity' endorsement from someone like Paris will raise awareness of the problem. And it's their lucky fucking day, because it just so happens that Paris is in dire need of a "philanthropic" endeavor to focus attention away from the fact that she's a fucking retard."The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," she said.
You know who else we need to stop making alcohol available to? Paris Hilton. Because when you take someone as profoundly retarded as she is and add alcohol to the mix, bad things happen. I can't say what, exactly, but I know it involves rashes and oozing sores.
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