Jesus was a pedophile

Scientololoonies scare me more than terrorists, child molesters, and George W Bush combined. Partially because they're so shady about what they may or may not believe in. I don't get why they don't just come out and say it. But then I hear shit like this, and it becomes obvious why they try to hide what they believe in: they're fucking crazy.

So apparently some website called FACTnet spent over 20 hours interviewing a former high-ranking Scientologist named Jesse Prince. He was second-in command of all of Scientology's operations worldwide. Here's what they learned:

• Celebrity Scientologists are compensated handsomely for their endorsement of the religion. One of the most absurd cases of course involves Tom Cruise. When he got married to Nicole Kidman, the Church's leader, David Miscavage, found out that Tom fantasized about running through a wheat field with her. So he spent tens of thousands of dollars turning a portion of Scientology's desert compound into a wheat field.

• The Church also organizes marriages and divorces that it sees as beneficial to Scientology. For instance, the Church helped arrange Lisa Marie Presley's marriage to Michael Jackson in the hopes that he would convert and encourage thousands of his young fans to do so as well. At the time Presley was already married to a Scientology staff member, so a divorce was quickly arranged.

• Perhaps one of the most disturbing allegations that came to light in interviews with Jesse Prince is that many celebrities (and countless non-celebrities) experienced psychotic breaks while undergoing some of Scientology's bizarre initiations. Tom Cruise is said to have become extremely sickly-looking and ill after his initiation known as OT III, where he was told his body was actually composed of thousands of aliens from all over the universe and they were fighting for control of his body.

• According to Prince, many celebrities have tried unsuccessfully to leave the Church, including John Travolta, Tom Cruise, Kelly Preston, and Kirstie Alley. Celebrities who exhibit antagonistic views on Scientology may be monitored by lackeys known as "support" staff who report back to David Miscavage. Perhaps most shockingly, Prince alleges that John Travolta was having a homosexual relationship they didn't approve of. So Miscavage ordered a large staff to stay with Travolta for weeks at a time until they could bring him back into the fold. They eventually arranged his marriage to Kelly Preston.

• There are secret documents which assert that Hubbard was the anti-Christ and that Jesus wasn't a holy figure at all, but a pedophile. The document caused so many problems with those who read it that they eventually deemed it "too dangerous" and had it removed.
  

If that shit doesn't scare you, then you must have balls of steel and fists that can shoot laser beams. If I suddenly go "missing" or my blog gets taken down in the next few days, you'll know what happened.