Hilarity

I cannot believe I haven't seen Rosie O'Donnell's Oscar-worthy portrayal of a mentally challenged fat chick in Riding the Bus with My Sister. Now that looks like a good movie. Although I'm pretty sure it's offensive to retarded people. Which means it is also hilarious.

My hero

Chrissy Crocker has been parading his hot tranny ass around Robertson Blvd again with a very special message to Perez Hilton. Which, coincidentally, is also my message to Perez. So I suppose in that way we are like-minded, Chrissy and me. Oh, that and our mutual love of flashing a little nip in the middle of the afternoon. Keeps things interesting.

ps

He's definitely wearing shoes from Paris Hilton's shoe line. 

I heart Tracey Ullman

She's really captured that je ne sais quois of White Oprah. The profound sense of self-entitlement... the shocking lack of self-awareness...and most of all that New Jersey trash smell that, no matter how long she's lived in L.A., she's never going to fully get rid of.

Hillary Clinton is fucking Barack Obama

Sometimes, late at night, I just get down on my knees and thank God for Youtube and the losers that spend 20 hours putting together shit like this.

Tracey Ullman is one hilarious bitch

Props for making fun of Renee Zellweger. As you know, I have been making fun of her fug face for awhile now, so I consider myself kind of a trailblazer. But Tracey just has that lemon-pucker face down pat. All she needs now is a strapless Carolina Herrera frock and a workout addiction. No one will be able to tell the difference.

Best. Blog. Ever.

Every once in awhile, someone comes up with an idea so brilliant, even I haven't thought of it before. Stuff White People Like is a blog that compiles a list of all the things white people can't get enough of, including:

#69 Mos Def: "He is everything that white people dream about: authentic (”he’s from Brooklyn!”), funny (”he was on Chapelle show!”), artistic (have you heard “Black on Both Sides?”), an actor (”he’s in the new Gondry film!”) and not white (”I don’t see race”)."

#67 Standing still at concerts: "Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you."

#63 Expensive Sandwiches: "It’s important to note that this type of restaurant is best for business or friendship situations as it is very neutral and does not carry connotations like Sushi or Breakfast."

#58 Japan: "If you find yourself in an awkward silence with white people, just mention how you want to go to Japan. They will immediately begin talking about how their trip to Japan, or their favorite stuff from Japan, but it will be entirely about them."

Goddammit this shit is good. It renews my faith in humanity and warms my stone cold heart. Harrumph...

Brilliance seasoned with genius

Sarah Silverman is pretty fucking funny. And this is what she gave her boyfriend, Jimmy Kimmel, for their 5 year anniversary. She makes me proud to be a Jew.