Ty Ty is back.

Cycle 10 of Top Model is basically like every other cycle before it. Tyra is still telling the girls to "smile with their eyes," she's still acting like a drag queen cheerleader on acid, and she's still inserting useless personal anecdotes about herself at every opportunity. 

This week she had the models pose in a photo shoot with real homeless people. Then she got all choked up describing how she had to pretend to be a homeless person for one day as a segment on her talk show and the girls (some of whom really had been homeless at one point) nodded emphatically.  The whole thing would have been unbearable if it hadn't been Tyra Banks doing it. For some reason, no matter what she does, I love her. She is above reproach. Like Jesus only, you know, more saintly. 

Before Amy Winehouse...

There was Nina Simone. And bitch could wail.

Paris Hilton: wonk-eye

Here is Paris looking like the epitome of understated elegance to the premiere of her new film, The Hottie and the Nottie. Ironically, Paris plays the hottie.

I once read somewhere that her lazy eye is caused by wearing those fake-ass blue contacts all the time. Because apparently NOT having cerulean, barbie-colored eyes destroys her well-manicured image as a walking sex doll. At any rate, it seems to be getting worse. Before long she'll be perpetually winking at us.

Britney Spears used to be kind of hot

Anyone remember the "I'm a Slave 4 U" days? Because I do. Like they were yesterday. And while I certainly can't complain about the endless opportunity for snarky fodder her present mental condition now grants us, I will say it's a shame she doesn't look like this anymore:

That's all I'm gonna say. Get well soon Brit.

Nail art is cool

Check out this video. It's some chick named Kid Sister featuring Kanye West. And it pays homage to one of the most ancient of beauty rituals...nail art. Of which I am an avid fan.

PSAs about Pot have always been retarded

Why is it that no one can come up with a single good reason why smoking pot is going to ruin your life? Maybe because it won't. Anti-pot commercials are always emphasizing the "gateway drug" affect, where you start out smoking joints, and end up with a needle in your arm. Which is just um...well let's just say I have yet to meet a pothead who sits up one day and goes, "Hey, I want to get some crack and just go fucking crazy!"

But here's a PSA I actually remember from my own youth. It's less frightening than it is hilarious.

Stevie Wonder is awesome--Sesame Street used to be cool

Stevie really rocks the shit out for this performance on Sesame Street. Seriously, he's so good, it fucks with my head.

Jem warns kids about the dangers of lesbian pedophiles, shoplifting, and prescription pills

I used to watch this show as a kid. I don't remember it being so educational or informative, though. I guess I can credit Jem for the fact that I never got in a strange car with a lesbian pedophile who told me my parents had been in an accident. Jem saved my life!