Paris Hilton has revealed to British Elle that she's ready for the next step in her path to ultimate tabloid whoredom--she wants to have a baby. When I heard this my first instinct was to go out, buy a semiautomatic weapon, drive to LA, and shoot her in the face myself. Here is some of what she had to say in the interview:
"I just started working out and it feels great. It gives me so much energy. I want kids next year, so I've got to get my body ready.”
Next year? Is that all? Why not just flop down in the middle of Sepulveda Blvd., spread your legs, and see who gets there first? It could be a special on E! called "Paris Gets Knocked Up" and we could all make bets on whose sperm made it to the promised land. Criss Angel? Zac Efron? That homeless dude on the corner? We'll just have to wait until next season to find out!
Seriously though, someone needs to make sure this doesn't happen. I'm not endorsing any criminal activity I'm just saying...if it takes some bailing twine, a shovel, and a coat hanger, then so be it.
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